IS AMINAH COMING BACK HOME?

Octobre 4th

So I nearly burnt down my flat in Syria. I left the gas stove on. My spanish roomate
yelled at me in her spanish accent, " yoWR not stuPID" . I tried to hold my tears back
dont be a wuss Aminah, take it like a woman. It was my fault. I dont know how to
do anything. Im so ashamed. Being the youngest, has been of benefit, but it has held me back in many ways because of my sheltered life.I am paralyzed. I have bad coping skills, I constantly look to be a victim.I am being a victim right now by claiming the "youngest child syndrome". Is ther a youngest child syndrome or
did I make that up.Let me wiki it. OH SHIT I FORGOT IM IN SYRIA NO INTERNET at home


ok so about syria
all you who are considering it, and thinking Aminahs a "big spoilt baby for running back to canada"

I am not ok.

WHY SYRIA IS SO MISERABLE (SOMETIMES)( BEFORE YOU START WRITING ANGRY NATIONALIST COMMENTS, I LOVE SYRIA and I WILL WRITE REASONS WHY IT IS THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE)

1) Ther is no internet, communication sucks, its so hard for anyone to get a hold of u.Their phone companies over charge.Skype is banned, and for those who call me on skype thats expensive too.

2) I have a stomach virus....that has me ...blood.

3) what else, everything is BANNED from facebook, to youtube, to my blog, to talking about the Alawi president.

4) AGAIN EVERYTHING IS BANNED IN A COUNTRY WITH NO RULES....makes sense no?


hmm what else................

5) LONELINESS . i learnt that when you are without ur family, everything sucks.
Its not the having to do everything for yourself, and fending for yourself part.
is that ther is no one to give u words by words i mean, advice, affection, comfort.
my loneliness has been of benefit, it brought me closer to Allah, during my fit of tears. I realized no one hears my tears or ultimately cares, except ALlah. We are ultimately alone, but not alone because Allah is Everlasting, Eternal, and Everywhere (IN HIS KNOWLEDGE OF COURSE)
Ok so loneliness does not count in Syria.

what else sucks in syria,

5 ) (this is five because "loneliness" is discounted) EVVERYTHING IS SO DAMN SLOW ... everything takes about ten years to process, you want to go to the bank, go sure,. but you ll get ten different answers to one question it takes over an hour to do anything.everything is detail orientated, and high security.

6) STARING PROBLEMS : you feel like everyone is watching.
and everyone is watching. which can get extremely annoying.


ok so a little about what is good in syria before i head to bed : SYRIA IS GREAT BECAUSE OF THE FOLLOWING

1) AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING FOOD. i cant stop eating, even their european food is amzing, they have the best food, freshest food, and everything
is full of flavour and life. so in terms of food you get everything but because of climate, altitude and environment,and water, you may end up really sick for the first week, until ur body adapts to the foreign bacterias.


2) MUSLIM MANNERS
everyone is so hospitable, it is deifnitly not a "ME ME ME society"
here in syria a perfect stranger, will lend you money, a drive , a meal in there house, take care of you, give you their life if they have to.
you will not see this sort of hospitatility in any other country, except Muslim countries.


You will not find this in any other part of the world.
I had total strangers take care of me, and show me love.


3) BEAUTY.... enough said.
its everywher in this country.
from the clothes, to hijaab, to nikkaab, to souks, to food, to music, to deen, to nature, to art... everything is breathtaking, unique, intricate
beautiful

4) ISLAM!!!!! the best reason to move to syria forever. the faith, the lifestyle, the belief its perfect, its visible. and its reviving.I LOVE IT. its one thing that would have me coming back, the feeling of closeness to the people, because we are of one faith. little things that i dont get to see in Canada.....like people turn their music off when the adhaan is one, or Quran is on.Or shops and stores in the process of opening their stores play Quran.

Tons of hijaab, all the women are so covered, and still so beautiful and fashionable.

5)ARABIC!!! you get to hear the adhaan and Quran endlessly hear.Arabic is the most beautiful language, the language of Jannah .

6) LONELINESS IS A POSITIVE NOW!!! I have become closer to Allah because I am ultimately alone. I have always been alone, but I just tried to avoid it. We are all alone, nothing is significant or important really, except our connection to Allah, He is the Ultimate reality and Truth.


ok nywho im off. bt i will add more to my "SYRIA IS GREAT BECAUSE ..." also,
I have not decided whether I am returning soon.