The title was to lure you in....this is not about capitalism, but capitalism probably does undermine sisterhood.
Its been a long year at SOAS, and I have made incredible friendships. But, one thing has left a bad taste in my mouth. THE WOMEN!!! I know its not a London thing, because its various women, women from various parts of the world like America, Canada, China, India, Pakistan, Dubai, etc. The women I have met, have great things going for them, incredibly beautiful and educated women with diverse backrounds, ethnicities, life experiences and so forth. But theres a common trend amongst them, they are AWFULLY MEAN SPIRITED!!!
My first bad experience was at the beginning of the year. I met this incredible woman, who was from the Mid East, in a documentary, writing a book, absolutely gorgeous, constantly in the media, the list goes on. I was her number one fan!! I supported her all the time, and complimented her like I was her boyfriend. Sadly, I had to babysit her feelings, she became extremely needy, moody, tempermental when I didnt offer her a compliment, jealous when I was in a relationship, crazy when I acheived something good and verbally abusive when we actually got in an argument. I really sat and analysed the entire friendship. I tried to see where I went wrong, and I tried hard to be a good friend to her, I even apologized when I did no wrong, because I started to think she was delusional. I came to the realization she didnt want to be my friend if I wasnt the underdog. I think as a woman and a feminist, I have made it my active goal, to support and help my fellow sisters. Maybe thats cliche? Most importantly, as part of my deen (my religion) which is my main priority in my life, I tried always to not be jealous, and be happy for others joys and blessings. I am not saying I only met evil spirited women, but it seems like a a weird trend amongst alot of successful women, they feel the need to rip eachother to shreds.
Also, I have seen these same women drop all their dignity and respect and become petty and stupid for a man.
At SOAS, I met bitchy women, who were ultra competitive, insincere, and ready to bite your head off at any moment. Moreover, constantly engaged in ridiculing each other like pre schoolers to cover up their awful personalities and insecurities. Even worse you have to deal with their UGLY SARCASM AND GARBAGE JOKES!!! Jokes that are usually at the expense of others or you because they have nothing substantial to offer to the conversation.
I am not saying I am flawless, or free from error. But, I think more women should make a conscious decision not to feel threatened by other women, or be so CUT THROAT. Be happy for others gains, and dont wish for others to loose.
I am really put off by it, and I really hope I can meet some more powerful, encouraging women who support each other rather than tear other women down.
My first bad experience was at the beginning of the year. I met this incredible woman, who was from the Mid East, in a documentary, writing a book, absolutely gorgeous, constantly in the media, the list goes on. I was her number one fan!! I supported her all the time, and complimented her like I was her boyfriend. Sadly, I had to babysit her feelings, she became extremely needy, moody, tempermental when I didnt offer her a compliment, jealous when I was in a relationship, crazy when I acheived something good and verbally abusive when we actually got in an argument. I really sat and analysed the entire friendship. I tried to see where I went wrong, and I tried hard to be a good friend to her, I even apologized when I did no wrong, because I started to think she was delusional. I came to the realization she didnt want to be my friend if I wasnt the underdog. I think as a woman and a feminist, I have made it my active goal, to support and help my fellow sisters. Maybe thats cliche? Most importantly, as part of my deen (my religion) which is my main priority in my life, I tried always to not be jealous, and be happy for others joys and blessings. I am not saying I only met evil spirited women, but it seems like a a weird trend amongst alot of successful women, they feel the need to rip eachother to shreds.
Also, I have seen these same women drop all their dignity and respect and become petty and stupid for a man.
At SOAS, I met bitchy women, who were ultra competitive, insincere, and ready to bite your head off at any moment. Moreover, constantly engaged in ridiculing each other like pre schoolers to cover up their awful personalities and insecurities. Even worse you have to deal with their UGLY SARCASM AND GARBAGE JOKES!!! Jokes that are usually at the expense of others or you because they have nothing substantial to offer to the conversation.
I am not saying I am flawless, or free from error. But, I think more women should make a conscious decision not to feel threatened by other women, or be so CUT THROAT. Be happy for others gains, and dont wish for others to loose.
I am really put off by it, and I really hope I can meet some more powerful, encouraging women who support each other rather than tear other women down.
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ReplyDeletewell said, echoes some of my own feelings and experiences (with both males and females).
ReplyDelete